I wanted to thank everyone for all the funny things and stories they sent me on my last journal. I really needed it yesterday and well... I don't know what I did to deserve you people. You're all wonderful and I thank you very much for that. You have no idea how much it means to me personally.
As for what happened... *sigh* Okay, real talk. Generally I don't like talking about issues I'm having on the web since they get resolved rather quickly or they are things I can just handle by myself or with my close friends. I also don't want to come off a whiner since negative journals aren't exactly helpful in these kind of situations and sometimes they make it worse. Plus my problems are my problems, not everyone else's. The only time I really bring things up is if it effects my work. And in this case... what happened did.. or rather a huge chain of events.
I'll be frank about something. I don't like harassment. AT ALL. It's not funny or cool or anything. It's mean, it's cruel and it hurts people. I've been through my fair share of harassment and boy can it leave scars. I've lost count of how many times people have mocked me for my work, my beliefs or just who I am. (Both online and in real life.) Most these days I do walk away when it comes to petty comments, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt a little. And it's certainly aggravating when it happens a lot.
So first thing, FF.net. I get a lot of guest reviews since not everyone has an account. There are positive ones but... oi... I don't know who they are but I do get a lot of guest reviews that sometimes have only guest or some name of a real person or character. Either way, these are generally the ones I know I'm expecting something not so good. Generally threats about hacking me, or killing me (yes death threats) or saying I should just stop writing and I'm a horrible person. This is stuff I generally walk away from and don't bring up since nothing can be done about it. (Best thing to do is just moderate them then focus on others things.) I only bring this up because that was part of the chain. It was building up stress.
Like I said, I can walk away from stuff like this with a "scratch" as it were. But... it makes it harder when other stuff comes up.
I don't like art thieves. I had a whole journal written awhile back about permission
because it had been happening a lot. Now with art/idea/whatever thieves, easily solved by just reporting and asking the person to take the work down, or asking to give credit if it's another website. Easily dealt with and no one gets hurt. (For the most part.) But... it's another thing to vandalize the artwork. I'm not saying who did it because that's not my style (but I know some people do know who it is/was.) but someone had taken artwork of my characters (children) and basically turned it into a drug ad. I don't support stuff like that, and it killed me, it honestly killed me a little seeing people depict my characters like that. And using my artwork at that... just...
I said it before, my art is my way of self expression. Taking it and claiming it as your own as one thing. It's another thing to twist and warp it for some sick joke. And linking it to me again and again isn't gonna make it funnier. It's just rubbing it in my face.
After that happened... I had a melt down. I wound up crying yesterday for a bit and that's right around when I posted the journal. The person is question has deactivated their account so it's no longer an issue just... I had to get this out and I felt like this was something you people should know since my mental state was affected and I had a hard time getting any work done.
And that's basically what happened. There are few others thing I want to talk about before I end this journal.
I get a lot of repeated questions and I do plan to make a more formal FAQ in the future to put on my profile, but I just want to get these ones that were most recent out of the way since... well, said questions can add to my stress level. (And were minor factors in the little meltdown I had.)
So... here we go.
Frequently Asked Questions (Recent Ones)
Q: When are you gonna update/Have you finished the next chapter for *insert story name*?
A: I will update it, when I update it. Keep in mind I run on my own clock when it comes to my stories and projects. If the creative juices aren't flowing for a certain story, I won't work on it till they come back. Also, sometimes I forget to update and or I don't have time to because of life. (I'm a college student. There's a lot to do between when I'm drawing/writing.) And being asked this will make me want to work on stories less. Just be patient. They will come eventually.
Q: Are commissions open yet?/Can I order one?/How much are they?
A: Commissions are open when I say they are open. I'll update my menu saying they're open. There is also a button on my profile that says when commissions are open/closed. Just keep your eye out so you can get one when I do open them. Asking me when they are closed isn't going to get you one. As for that last question, it's all written in the menu.
Q: Do you take requests?
A: No. There are occasions like the recent BH6 ID cards, or in the past, experiment journals, but those are temporary. Most of the time those things are done out of me wanting to try something new out or I need practice. But for anything in general, no. I don't have time and I want to save my drawing time for my own projects.
Q: Will you draw/write about *insert character name/ship/etc*?
A: This is more so a request so the answer is no. I do take suggestions SOMETIMES but that's only when I ask for them, and even then I might not even do it. And sometimes when it comes to certain characters I can't think of anything to write or draw about them. Ships, I don't ship everything. And asking me constantly to do something isn't going to make me do it or change my mind. It's just going to make want to do it less. I write and draw what I want when it comes to stuff outside commissions
. (With commissions it's different. It's when it's my PERSONAL work my rules.)This especially goes for my stories and series. (And my depiction of characters.)
Q: Why do you like *insert ship/character/franchise/etc*?
A: Hate to answer a question with a question, but why do you like what you like? For me, I like what I like because it makes me happy. Shows, ships, characters, everything.
As said, I will construct a proper FAQ at a later date. But form this point, I get asked any of these questions I will just ignore you and hide your comment/delete your note.
And that's it. Sorry for this long journal but this is something I needed to get off my chest. Again, thank you to everyone who sent things to make me smile. I felt a lot better after all that.
If you read through all this, thank you again.
Love you all.
- Aileen Rose